Donna's Writings

07/23/2017

To clean or not to clean, that is the question

Hans / Pixabay

Do you ever feel like you just can’t get your shit together? I’ve never been so disorganized in my entire life as I have since I’ve moved to Vermont. Maybe it’s good in a way, because I’m not obsessing about little details all the time. And being less structured means I can be more creative. But mostly it’s frustrating because without having those details sorted, there’s too much confusion.

 

Free-Photos / Pixabay

I can’t find things. I hate having to look for things. For my entire life up to 2012, I knew where every single thing in my house was all the time. (Except the cats, because they sometimes move on their own volition.) Does it matter if it takes me 20 seconds or 20 minutes to find a book I want to look at? Do I really care that I can’t find my great-grandmother’s amber beads that she brought to the USA from Ukraine over 100 years ago?

 
I never missed deadlines or forgot appointments. Maybe I was being too concerned about other people’s expectations but it felt like I was in control. Was I just delusional?

NDE / Pixabay

I never had trouble concentrating or paying attention. Now, my brain feels like it’s in a fog most of the time. For a few hours a day, I get a focused burst of attention. Otherwise, I’m just floating in the clouds. Maybe I’m becoming more right-brained and less linear? Is this a good thing? Then why does it feel so frustrating?

 
 On the other hand, my knitting designs have become more creative and interesting (I think so anyway), I’ve been doing a lot of drawing and painting, and the writing projects I’m working on (or procrastinating about) are also more creative and less constrained by a pre-conceived outline.
So, should I work on getting my act together? Or go with the flow and enjoy this phase of my life? I really don’t know.

DevilsApricot / Pixabay

Art, Knitting, Writing
11 Comments
  1. I know I’m a little late to this conversation, but I personally find that I can’t think as well when everything isn’t put away. Not clean – just put away. I think you’re on the right path – find a home for everything and then just let the cleaning be whatever is done by your hired cleaner. So says the woman who has a house currently turned upside down in the pursuit of ridding said house of wool moths. :/

  2. Your blog makes me feel much better. I have been looking for my small square bucket for says now. My home is cluttered but i am working on it. However it is pretty small, so where can It be?? I asked my daughter who took the ketchup and brown sugar, but no, she didn’t see it. I opened up the cupboard under the kitchen sink and found it. I appropriated it two weeks ago for organizing all my supplies under the sink so i can just pull it out easily to find them. Only problem was I forgot to write it down on my shopping list. Oh well.

  3. I have been feeling the same way lately. Go with the flow and enjoy life…it’s too short not to!

  4. Donna, how old have you achieved? This might be a natural progression into cronehood. Hire someone to organize your library, unless those twenty minutes allow you to peruse other interesting books along the way.

    I often tell people I wasn’t a maiden for long, I was never a mother, but I’m one helluva crone.

    C

    • Donna Druchunas

      Yeah, you know, I just don’t want to be aggravated by my surroundings. I have finally found someone to come and do the basic cleaning. But I need to organize my stuff because no-one else would know how to do it or what even to call my different things. (Like my 20+ UFOs!, plus some belonging to mom who quit knitting and expects me to someday finish them), piles of magazines and articles for future research, which vintage stuff I bought vs got from grandma, etc. I cleared out my temporary work room today and that feels really good. Next will be the studio, which is full of everything because we had to completely empty the classroom and store space to do the remodel… down to the studs and replacing some of the supports in the crawlspace). I know I’ll feel better if I get it done. Things have a place and when they’re in their place, life is easier.

  5. Phyllis Bradley 07/23/2017 at 5:39 am Reply

    Is there any middle ground?

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